by Jenn Palumbo

I have to be honest – when I decided to write about Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin getting engaged, I had to muster up the energy to care. When I saw the US Weekly Cover with the headline, ‘We’re Getting Married’, I could help morphing the sentence into one single word, ‘DOOMED’.

Let’s forget all that though. Let’s forget that these children have done nothing but embarrass themselves as long as they have been in the public eye. Put aside his posing for PLAYGIRL and blabbing on and on about all the family secrets and erase from your mind that although I actually believe Bristol is well-intentioned, she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Disregard she’s only nineteen and he’s only twenty, that their son’s name is moronic, that they chose to tell their family they were getting married by doing the US Weekly interview and that for a time, Levi had the nickname ‘Ricky Hollywood’. Why? Because it doesn’t matter. This relationship is not worth analyzing or investing time in.

What we all should be focusing on right now is the most important aspect to them getting back together: What should their cute, annoying, combined couple name should be?

There’s “Brangelina” (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie), “TomKat” (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes) and “Speidi” (Spencer Pratt and Heidi “F Cup” Montag). So what are we going to call this crazy couple? I’ve thought of ‘Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dum’ but that’s not really a combination of their names.

The problem is their names aren’t particularly ideal for this pop culture habit. It’s no “Bennifer”. I’ve heard some people suggest “Lysol” but there’s no ‘y’ anywhere in either of their names plus it’s an insult to all of Lysol’s products.

What else is there? Hmmm. Breviti?  Levity?  Pali-o?  LeBris? PaJo? Brisvi? Bristle?

The best I can do is “Pale”. That’s the first two initials of her last name and the first two initials of his first name. It’s also the shade their families probably turned when they found out these crazy kids were giving their relationship another go.

It’s not that I wish them any harm; I just don’t have a whole lot of faith this relationship is going to be a success. In the meantime, we might as well all make the most of it. I know anytime I’ll hear about them, I’ll try to focus on other possible variables of their joint nickname.

And if you think of any, please comment!